it's me, scott. happy over-commercialized hallmark greeting card-based holiday!!

buy me candy, thanks.

so last night i was sitting on the curb outside of my apartment waiting for my friend laurie to pick me up, and this weird anorexic homeless woman walks up to me and starts talking to me. obviously, she wants money, right? well, i think that she did! however, i could only understand about 20% of the words coming out of her mouth. i don't know if it was the southern drawl, or the drunkness (hers, not mine), or what.

so anyway, one of the phrases i did recognize was "ya smell good whatchu wearin'?" and i said "oh, that's my hair stick". because, see. i wear pomade in my hair, and i get comments all the time about it's smell. so i said. "it's my hair stick," and she said "noxema, right?!" and then proceeded to lean over and STICK HER FACE IN MY HAIR. twice. two times in a row! once after i told her it was my hair stick, and then about five minutes later in the middle of me saying "oh yeah, that sucks, look, my ride is here". nose! right in my head!!

homeless people are weird.

love,
scott.

ps. i almost saw jonathan richman last night, too. except that SOMEONE really DIDN'T LIKE him, and i was forced to leave! forced! oh, jonathan, please forgive me!!

pps. send a scottcard to your loved one, bitch.