it's me, scott.

today, i am going to bombard you with several requests. okay? please try to make me a happy boy by fulfilling as many of them as possible. thank you.

request #1: i will be driving to st louis, missouri on friday. that is a long drive to make all by myself! if you live somewhere between madison, wi and st louis, mo, please either a) ride with me to st louis, or b) give me directions to your house so i can stop in the middle of my trip to make out with you. if you can do both a AND b, this is even better!

request #2: heath and i are starting an online "service". we are going to be e-pimps! please be our hos! send all inqueries (along with nude pictures, if applicable) to me. thank you.

(ps. we are going to be millionnaires! maybe we'll share the profit. probably not, actually, but if it helps convince you in any way, i'll gladly lie about this.)

request #3: vote! it may not make a difference for presidency (in fact, it doesnt), but it does make a big difference in local representation.

request #4: kiss me, little one.

thanks again for your support and urgency in this matter!

love,
scott.

ps - bunny. go make fun of me with your friends now! (also. be clever and use the word "homo". thanks!)