it's me, scott.

josh is wearing bikini underwear today. just thought you might like to know.

so anyway, i got my hair cut last night, and i think that i look fan-fucking-tastic now! i am supersexy. like, i am even sexier than leonardo dicaprio. i was sexier than him before, sure, but my point is... i'm really feckin' hot!

do you want me yet?

i ate chinese food for lunch today. sweet and sour chicken, to be specific-- it was great!! of course, i got it without peppers or onions, but that's because onions and peppers are gross, especially when you have something sweet along with them. on nachos, sure, they're great. but sweet and sour chicken? yuck yuck yuck.

so when i was all done eating my delicious sweet and sour chicken, i received a cookie with a little piece of paper inside of it. the ancient chinese word for this type of cookie is a "fortune cookie". after i had eaten the tasty cookie, i read the piece of paper. on it were the words "many women will want you because you have a nice haircut." i was psyched!! if you're reading this, please come over to my house immediately before my hair grows too much and the fortune wears off.

have you ever seen the movie 'zero effect'? no? well, you should! it is great. when you come over, we can watch it and then make out and stuff. i have it on dvd.

so the other night, i was trying to get my groove on in my bible study class (where all grooves should be gotten on, of course), and my phone rings and i answer it and who was it? why it was the lovely miss liza q. potter!! i was very surprised. she had called because her computer was broken and she wanted to have phone sex. unfortunately, as stated previously, i was in the middle of something, and promised to call her back later. i called her back, and we had phone sex for six straight hours! it was the best i've ever had.

the other night, we were playing trivial pursuit and i kept calling ray an 'orca' and now i can't get that word out of my vocabulary! it's always 'orca this' and 'orca that' and 'josh dated an orca' and 'my ex-girlfriend was NOT a bigger orca than your ex-girlfriend!' and so-on and so-forth. really, i wish we could just go back to the good old days of 'ham' and 'hammy'.

speaking of funny words, 'hankering' is one of the funniest words. here are two of the funniest things you can possibly say to another person:

1. hey... i've got a hankerin'!

2. i bet you've got really hairy balls!

yup. those are the funniest. ever! and boy oh boy is this a long letter.

i should probably stop writing now.

err...

typing, i mean.

yup.

love,
scott.